This is what can happen
when I take a four mile walk. Things come to mind. This is a nearly
72 year old man, with barely a foot in the outside world, reflecting.
Most people who search for truth likely have experienced in their past 'holding in their hand' what they trusted was the 'pearl of great price'. It may have been our
church , or the Bible or a personal relationship. It seemed near
perfect. But as we further experienced it that pearl showed its
serious flaw. At some point we may have recognized it was even
dangerous in some ways to our well being. We may have become aware that we had
projected onto that 'pearl' what we needed it to be rather than
seeing it objectively for what it really was. In the case of the
church we may have, with very solid reasons, left it trusting we
would find something better. The more we had invested and trusted it
as the true pearl the more we are tempted to 'look back', as if to
assure our self we did not 'sell our inheritance for a mess of
pottage.' We may question that if we were on the right track why
more people did not do the same as we did, but most didn't. This is
the scenario of Lot being warned to 'not look back' at his home town, but
to only look forward. But Lot's wife did look back. So we may be
tempted to use energy looking back to our broken pearl but the result
can be to become a pillar of salt?
… But should that
happen to us that is not our ending. There is much symbolic value
in salt. Maybe this is the work of being the 'salt of the earth',
that which keeps every one from going off on a totally separate way
and leaving behind no form or structure for a culture or community
to even exist. So we should not condemn the pillar of salt but
still, if given a choice, it is not likely what we would choose for
our self. We'd like to find a way to not be somewhat still
mesmerized by what we once were so sure was our 'pearl of great
price.' So our prayer and longing can intentionally become to keep
'following' the new path we have set out on and not be looking over
our shoulder at what is happening in that place so formative and
important in our past.
You can see how this same dynamic can
happen with respect to a personal love relationship. What seems to be
the perfect person in time shows his/her fuller humanity. One finally
may see that again she has projected onto that person, whose hand
they hold or with whom one has related at a much more personal
level, one's inner dream that no mortal could live up to. One may
then intentionally rearrange their expectations and allow this very
much fantasized relationship become a real one where practical love
becomes a trustworthy cement for the long haul of human partnership.
The dissonance though may be so great that one realizes it would not be wise
to continue in this relationship for either person's long range well
being. So one departs with sadness but may ,like with the
church, be tempted to look back, to second guess their previous
decision and consider returning.
But there is even a more
complicated situation the path of the searcher may lead to. This also is spoken of in sacred story, ancient myth, and
contemporary novel and film. What if one actually did come to hold
in their hand their 'pearl of great price'. That is the longer they
lived with it the more true and bright and not disappointing it
became. This person, as it were, held the pearl in their hand,
touched it , smelled it, tasted it but before they could eat it ,
chew it up and internalize it the pearl was snatched away by nature,
leaving one separated from what they intuit they can never find a
replacement or equal. Now what does this person do? Do they
intentionally not 'look back' to their momentary yet solid and
full experience of the 'pearl of great price'? There are three
aspects that I think that person would be most wise and true to consider:
1)They definitely should not repress that mountain top experience
as if it never happened. It may be easier and less suffering to
repress it, to convince themselves it did not have the value they
had assigned to it. That it like the first scenario, was 'only' a
projection and something more 'realistic' and fulfilling will be found by moving
forward. So that is something such a person should not do but which will likely
be their greatest temptation and the conventional advise, "Get over it." 2) This
person must , while treasuring that past experience, which they
intuit will never be equaled or excelled, find the will to nevertheless move on
to the future, step by step, following the flow of life. This, even
if it seems only a surface path and does not have near the brightness
that was experienced in the presence of the 'valued pearl' which is
only now kept alive by memory. 3) They can intentionally take
this uneasy path forward 'hoping against hope' that in some
different form or way history might repeat itself , at least in
this one incidence. But second time arounds can never be demanded by
the mortal. There was only one transfiguration experience. This situation has
always been the province of the gods or of what Christians call
providence, God's will or maybe fate.
I think there are many
historical persons whose lives have left some record that they found
themselves in the psychological/spiritual situation I have tried to
describe just above. And it was only after experiencing their 'pearl
of great price' and being separated from it that their creative
work came out of them. It was only during the suffering of the
separation from their treasure find or their vision of the 'pearl' that
whatever opus they actually brought to their peers or to humanity
quite naturally 'came out of them'. It is a creativity like that of giving birth after a long hard labor. It potentially is the birth of a 'new creation.' Only out of their completely unplanned grieving
separation, after which they nevertheless kept moving forward with
an irrational hope in tension with their treasured 'pearl' experience, did their naturally occurring sacrifice bring an outward creative manifestation. I recall the phrase regarding Jesus that , 'it
was for the joy set before him' that he , with grace and
meaning, 'endured the cross despising the shame.' Jesus and
others who, after finding their pearl of great price, unwittingly found
themselves sacrificing, in their mortal life, their highest joy by living without it. This
was not something which developed directly out of any conscious plan or their will to do any great thing for
humanity, but simply the natural living out consciously ones strongest
longings for that which they had personally found of greater value than anything they would have ever imagined stumbling upon. It
was , 'like a man plowing in a field, who came upon a treasure. He
straightway went and purchased the whole field so that he might
secure the treasure for himself.'
I will offer one more historical
example of this that was made more clear to me in an 'active
imagination' process. Active Imagination is a very natural kind of
technique that Jung discovered partially by reading the Christian mystics and which he
believed helped a person to , as it were, to make intentional
contact with the Collective Unconscious. Active Imagination is more direct and can gain faster results than is experienced waiting
for dreams to bring such information. In it one is encouraged to speak directly to
any characters that appear in the fantasy as if they are fully real. And to accept the spontaneous
responses that come in any conversation that develops. Obviously, from our Western perspective, one can feel quite foolish in their
first attempts at this.
Active
Imagination Dante Alighieri
March 30, 2014
My first time to sit by my pond this
spring began with me taking the trip to the 'depths' through
imagining dropping into the earth to the bottom of the pond. I
arrived quickly at the familiar now dimly lit vaulted cavern with eight doors
equally spaced around the circumference. All of this is the same as
many of my Active Imaginations. This time I went here specifically
hoping for an encounter with Dante. I was not disappointed.
Immediately he appeared in the center where I was seated on a green
stone chair. He wore a black hooded robe typical of the Medieval poets. His thin tall torso and sharp facial features
were like I have imagined and seen in paintings and sculpture. He
spoke in deep tones from a face that was welcoming and serious. He
greeted me:
|
Dante In Paradise |
D: Hello Jim Hibbett. I have been aware
that you have considered conversing with me for some time. I am glad.
How did I get your attention?
J: In Florence, Italy January 4 I
heard you mentioned often and was quite taken by the statue of you in
front of the The Sacred Cross Church. Since then I have become aware
that much of your work comes out of your interest in love and perhaps
seeing that human love had not reached its potential in your day in a
way that was a common experience of people. That remains a
disposition I carry, so I was drawn to hearing more of your story and
of your work that I might better grasp what it may mean today to
help love become more conscious and more highly developed among us
humans.
D: I hear you and am interested.
Please go with me to a more comfortable place.
He then led me through one of the
arched doorways. I noticed engraved around the stone arch four words
for love-the Greek Agape, Eros, Phileo and Caritas a Latin word for
love. We then entered a bright ornate room that looked much like
an Italian church side area, but with nothing that marked it
particularly Christian. It could as easily have been a Roman temple
room. He invited me to sit down on a comfortable couch at one end
and, taking off his hood, he sat at the other end only a few feet
away.
J: Before we venture into this I'd
like to say how profoundly I feel connected with the array of love
words on your entrance door. Do you think many words are needed to
reach a fuller understanding of the deepest nature of love? Also I
feel a need to confess that I am a far more common person regarding
intellectual and aesthetic capacities compared to you. Yet this
question and theme of love I so strongly identify with.
D: Yes. Love, because it is of the
most importance also has the deepest meaning of all ideas or
experiences. You do not need to apologize for your place in the
world. When a person becomes a well known intellect and contributor
to the common interests like happened with me, they are seen as
distant and different than ordinary. This keeps their work from
seeming applicable in practical ways to the average person. So I am
glad for you that all your life has been lived on the more common
path for your life's setting.
J: Thank you for that reassurance.
D: Now, how do you wish to start our
talk? If you go a direction that I do not think is time well spent I
will tell you.
J: Then I will ask, did you find that
love for woman, or a woman, was at the heart of your discovering
whatever is most important about love and life?
D: You have begun at the right place I
can see. I may say at the start my love experience of Beatrice
Portinari was my life time obsession. Without that reality at my
center I am very sure you would have never heard of me. My family
decreed when I was twelve years old that I would marry Gemma Donati
which I did when I was twenty years old. But, as much as I would wish
it, married love was never the high and soul capturing experience
that my love for Beatrice remained from the time I met her when I was
ten years old and she was two years younger. I only saw her a few
brief times in my life and knew she tragically died when she was
twenty four years old.
J: In your day was it somewhat
scandalous for a married Christian man to carry such a love for a
woman who was married to another man? Was this a problem for you?
D: I was lost at finding a way to
justify the reality in my heart. I knew profoundly that the caring
love and appreciation I had for my wife and the inspirational ,
spiritual love that obsessed me regarding Beatrice were two different
kinds and experiences of love. I considered pursuing, with its likely
tragic consequences for everyone, Beatrice in an open way. But
something deep within, I must say a voice of God, declared that my
love for her was not to ever be a part of my outer life, but was to
be the central inspiration of my life, my passion and my writing.
And this is how it was?
J: This sounds like a very sad love
story Mr. Alighieri?
D: I know. It is sad but I think also
the kind of spiritual situation that results in a man reaching places
of a spiritual nature deep within himself. And out of that to be
able to offer back to God and to culture gifts that would have never
been born without such suffering love. I know the 'Divine Comedy'
would have never happened from me if it were not for the passionate
love I unashamedly carried for Beatrice. She was the center of the
inspiration from which all that I expressed poetically came. When I
wrote I knew without question that it was 'she' who guided my words
and who brought the strong emotions and images to my heart. I
still cannot explain nor do I understand this horrible yet divine
mystery of love. I thank you for
this opportunity for a dead man to try to express these things to the
living.
J: I am very honored. Did you keep a
strong connection with your wife Gemma all your life?
D: She and my children were as
important to me as wife and children were to any man I knew. When in
exile for nearly twenty years my wife and children remained in
Florence. I kept in written touch with her to the extent possible
with the help of friends. I did the same with my children. She died
there and my children eventually joined me in Ravena where they were
near me and a great comfort the last years of my life. My daughter
was named Beatrice at my request. This is all I can say. I am a
strong supporter of marriage as a way for a very important kind of
love to exist and in which for children to be raised. But, often to
my dismay but to my surest knowledge, a typical married life was not
to be mine as one who carried this kind of inspirational spiritual
love for another woman. I can't say more about this that would make
it more understandable, even to myself.
J: Did you live with a sense that you
really knew Beatrice Portinari since your personal communications
with here were so sparse?
D: At the time I was living I don't
think I was conscious of what you are asking. Since then I have
continued to try to understand this. Such occasional communications
with the living like this have helped me. I think I would now have to
say that the Beatrice figure that inspired me had to be a
personality that was contained within me and not in actuality the
human Beatrice whom I hardly knew. That is hard to my pride and sad
for me to acknowledge but I can see that it must be more the truth.
I can only assure you that the inner world love I experienced with
her was all these engraved words and more. It was the faithfulness of
Agape, the caring of Caritas, the warm friendship of Phileo and the
incomparable ecstasy of Eros all alive at the same time and
consistently over a life time. I question how often such a level of
love has been yet so fully experienced in human life like it was in
my heart of hearts. I ask continually of the dead here if they
have had such an experience.
J: Mr Alighieri, I think that such
spiritual dynamics of our inner lives are beginning to be more
understood in present times than they could have ever been in your
day. You seem to have learned so much about yourself in the kind of
insight you have just stated. One last question: Can you imagine
the day in human history when the kind of inner love life you
experienced with Beatrice could become the outer love life
experienced in marriage with a real life woman? That a man might
see in the real woman in his life the 'goddess image'(and she the
'god' in him) you experienced with an inner woman? And that they
still both relate mutually and equally attending to the details of a
normal outer life together?
D: What a wonderful vision for
humanity, leading to nothing less than the 'love of the world' which
our Lord is said to have had. To love and be loved in that full way
I can only say would create humans who had a compassion and
appreciation for all other people and all things and would make it
'on earth as it must be in heaven.' I can envision nothing grander
for humanity than that.
J: Thank you very much for this
conversation Mr. Alighieri.
D: Thank you for coming Jim. I'm glad
you feel you have interest in and something in common with what my
life was all about.
Dante stood up and warmly said, “
Jim Hibbett. I wish you well in the mysteries of love and life.
Buonasera” . With that it became pitch dark , he was gone and I
was instantly again sitting by the pond.