This requires a very specific effort to set aside one's conscious ego (our 'me')and its desires, regarding expectations about the beloved, for the benefit of the beloved one.
It is the opposite of 'posessing' the other. This must surely be the ultimate test of enduring Human/Divine love; as well as the source of authentic joy of loving another person over time.
Anything less- however much called love-is the desire, often unconsciously, to have power over the other. To have the other be what one's own ego imagines or desires them to be, not who they actually are. This is the opposite of love.
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