Sunday, November 13, 2011

DREAM: DESPAIR AND VICTORY...November 10, 2009..edited Nov 13, 2011,Aug. 4, 2012

INTRODUCTION: This kind of dream reflection demands, for my own sake, an introduction. Someone may read and conclude what ' a presumptuous and egocentric person' to think of himself as so special or so connected to the Sacred.  Please keep in mind that what the dream shows me experiencing is actually the experience of  many individuals as we move into a  new era of  spiritual/psychological development.  With such a realization  the dream or what I say about it will appear  much less self acclaiming. I cringe at how I  may sound and how, without being given a most gracious hearing, true the criticism at first seems to be. Also it would have to raise eyebrows as to whether one who writes such things is of a sound mind. It boarders on what I have criticized others for taking some quite 'beyond human'  gospel statements  as if  literally spoken by Jesus about his human self. To say he believed he was the 'I AM',  and such outrages as 'no one comes to God but by me' with no disclaimer or embarrassment would make him unsound and insane  as a real human. Just try to imagine your actual reaction to a 'human' saying  such a things with no explanation. There are always disturbed humans around who say such things and we tend to keep our distance or get them some help.  I'm convinced such 'sayings of Jesus'  are what others said of  Him  in their attempt  to explain his impact on their forebears. There was Jesus the person and later there was Jesus the collective archetype of God.

Let me explain:  Often when I write I am strongly aware the thoughts and writing are not just my conscious ego(although I accept full responsibility at the ego level.) I am writing from a much broader place than that. That 'place' is the result of the the kind of natural spiritual/psychological development I have consciously experienced over more than quarter a century. It is still 'me' but this aspect of 'myself' is far more 'confident' and claims more direct knowledge of the unseen realm than we generally think a human should or can. It is not that it 'knows everything' but it knows more about my own self reality than is customary in Western culture. So it comes across in ways that are embarrassing to me at an ego level. Were I speaking face to face I could say such things but it would be more obvious to a listener that I am aware I'm speaking well beyond the bounds of my human ego. When doing this I am aware of what I am saying and believe it and yet I also am not and do not. Were I talking face to face I would add many disclaimers whose effect and my hesitations would be strong proof of how totally, ordinarily and average a human I am. I can only conclude that I am coming, at such times, from what Jung calls the 'Self 'or broader individuated personality. This is basically to say that I am in a kind of harmony with what perennially has been referred to as a or at least one's 'voice of God.'

This is where the great danger and fear of being misunderstood comes to bear on me. For an introduction to this dream I will not say more. I have already posted numerous items on the blog that are more clear if read with this same introduction and ones that try in various ways to describe how I have experienced this broader 'Self' and how I have come to have this experience of myself and of  spiritual/psychological reality. As you begin to read this post you may at first think, “There was no need for the introduction. I am not hearing anything that sounds 'more than an ordinary human expression.” But continuing I think you will 'see' some reasons for my hesitancy. 

By the way, I do not think it is exceptional or unusual for any of us to be so connected, at times, to the 'Self'. It may be called creativity, inspiration, even as being 'beyond oneself'. Many have experienced saying 'way more than they meant or thought' in retrospect. But I still need the protection of this introduction when I am experiencing saying these kinds of things. Without such an introduction I would not be willing to post this for the public. My motivation for any of my blog posts is that, “It seems appropriate for me to at this time.” I see such a dream like this as a personal confession of a central aspect of the developmental process I have experienced and  thus include  it in my blog.

1. I was with a high school friend and a few others on an elevator. Suddenly he began to weep uncontrollably. I indicated to others this is O.K. and to not be alarmed or interfere with it. We simply needed to be with him.
2. I was in an Olympics Village. I was on the field with a group of athletes who were competing. Suddenly I found myself participating in an event. It was a slingshot kind of competition. I had a rope with a pouch on the end containing a 'tear drop' shaped object. I would sling the rope and object in a large circle perpendicular to the ground. At the right moment I would release the object. The object of the game was to launch the 'tear drop' object as far as possible. I was the last person to do it and the referees were not even watching. I won the competition. I had never trained at this sport at all. This was the first time I had ever done it. Technically I should have been asked to do it again since it was not properly observed but it was too inconvenient for the referee team so they accepted my result. I had apparently fairly won the competition by far, throwing it hundreds of feet. I was very surprised. I was now to compete in the the final event. The time was getting close to the final competition at the stadium in the center of Olympic village. I was about to drive to the location and was told the traffic was backed up for miles. There was going to be a very large crowd. I had not thought of this problem. I decided to walk to the stadium. I had no idea if I could be successful in this game again. But it seemed like what I was to do.
Olympic Village In Vancouver
3. The image of a wooden frame with 24 round images of my own face.

1. The friend highlighted was a grade through high school friend. He was, in a sense, my coolest friend. Since high school days I've imagined him as a John Lenin type. I've kept slight touch with him. In the past 20 years I've had breakfast with him and  a few others when I visit my hometown of Florence, AL. He recently lost his younger downs syndrome brother who had lived with him and his wife for many years. In the dream he was totally cool but when the door of the elevator closed he wept profusely. I simply think it is a reminder to me that life is not complete without serious human sorrow acknowledged. It is best to find times to express the emotional pain and despair rather than to attempt to repress or disown it. This weeping was real, appropriately expressing the suffering and losses felt in life, not of this actual friend but for all honest and reasonably conscious humans. The elevator in more than one other dream has symbolized the experience of the growing consciousness of vital individual and mass humanity in our era. For the one who seriously rides this elevator, both the ecstasy and the despair of life will be real and deeply felt.

2.Such a strange unexpected dream. It stirs up the images of the Biblical story of David and Goliath. 
David And Goliath
I suppose this is a way of describing my inner life these past 28 years. I have felt myself being competitive but not with anyone else but myself, with fate.* Maybe even competing with the Sacred as a healthy respectful kind of character building competition. This competition is not known openly by others. There is no one in my recent circles who knows much of what the challenges have been like for me, neither the highs or the lows, the despair or the ecstasy. It is not a competition that I expected or pursued. It was not something I trained for formally. However it seems like every life situation was helping prepare me for what was to come next. **It shows the event involved 'making a circle.' Jung went to great lengths to show that throughout human history the point, the circle, the square, four and its multiples , and mandalas have consistently been the symbols produced by the Collective Unconscious that stand for wholeness, completeness and even for the Ultimate God. I'm sure at least one other dream recently had me forming a circle? The object thrown is the shape of a 'tear drop.' This is in harmony with the first dream. I've cried uncontrollably many  times just because I was transparently in touch with those human feelings, my own and those of my species, that can only be expressed by tears. Such crying is not usually a sign of pathological depression or despair but an expression of life's  ecstasies and the losses it requires to move forward, especially at the deeply inner level of human consciousness. 

The judges did not see my effort. What I have experienced inwardly and my efforts to communicate it go beyond and often do not fit many of the rules and norms of my heritage or  culture. So technically it would appear that any accomplishment made is not legitimate. But the dream suggests that 'ones in authority' will not choose or be able to not endorse the authenticity of the accomplishment. The dream suggests  eventually there will be others interested in what has interested me these past 28 years. If I am successful at this inner competition in the 'final' event then it can become something that will be meaningful to others. The final competition is described as happening at the 'center of the village'. This may indicate that my inner experience, along with others also, is something that potentially can touch and affect the very center of the Human/Sacred consciousness. I am kept appearing in the dream as the most ordinary person imaginable. An ordinary person, with average intelligence and abilities is truly who I am. I am shown not even having transportation to the final event but am walking and wondering if I can even get there. I am nearly as unaware as others of the full meaning of the competition that has in a sense lived in me all these years. I'm now aware that any significant recognition of what I have experienced is more than likely posthumous. That does not particularly bother me. I am comforted with the idea that my efforts will not be forever in vain. I also think, as noted in the introduction, that in the the dream 'I' represents not so much my personal mortal self as perhaps Human Consciousness as experienced through many of my human peers.

3. This may refer back to the picture frames in a recent dream that contained mandalas. Those frames were to be gifts to others. This frame has 24, a large multiple of four, images of my outer self. I'm not comfortable suggesting that the dream is saying that my inner work will at some point be a gift to many of my fellows. My outer image is only a representation of an inner work that has taken place, not just personally with me but by many other individuating post-modern humans. If some level of public notoriety is implied here it is not for me but for the great stride in human development the dream depicts made possible by  innumerable individuals. I know myself well enough that  no amount of personal  notoriety or fame is what I have any deep interest in achieving.  For me,  to prepare for a personal mutual intimate relationship in which to live is a far more important striving in  life than anything else. ** I am aware  I cannot demand such an outcome in outer life  but it can correctly remain my prayer,  longing and central motivation.  I do confess having a desire which goes back to early adulthood for my life to be involved in an accomplishment  that could be received as a gift, by my children and others if possible.
Jim Hibbett
* The reader my wish to read the blog post 'Cooperative Suffering Of God And Human.'
** And this one:

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