Tuesday, November 1, 2011

DREAM: STORMS....April 17, 2010

I was living in my present house with a woman. She was mother-like. A very threatening storm came up. I was outside. It became dark and I heard the sound of a storm. I ran to my present car to put it in the garage. I realized there was not time. I ran to my back door with the storm beginning. I was very afraid I would be swept away. I got in and felt more safe. The woman, who frequently in my dreams is referred to as 'Church Woman' was there. I was very pleased for her presence. I then noticed our small dog outside the door and successfully let him in.
I was then in one of my brother's homes.  I was not accustomed to being there. I had casual conversations with some great-nieces and nephews that I had not met before. I became very upset with some news I received and was angered. I was rushing to a phone and said out loud, 'son of a bitch.' I immediately  was afraid I had seriously offended these family members but I could tell in my conversation later with the same persons that I hadn't particularly. One of them even used some profanity in an appropriate way which gave me relief. I even felt he did so for my comfort. It worked.

REFLECTION: Each of these dreams are situations that caused a strong rush of fear in me. One the serious threat of the storm and the other the fear of having seriously offended family by some course language. One is a happening of nature and the other an activity of reacting honestly in life to startling situations. Such expressions do come from my mouth though I can usually choose whether or not to let them out. I'm convinced that, if not in the presence of children or someone who is offended, it is generally  more healthy to let such occasional exclamations come out. Whatever may be negative or offensive about such expressions, most of us experience them as moments of strong honesty and truth. Something important is missing in life, I think, when we repress all such moments.  I find it comfortable to be in someone's presence who has that same understanding. I think, if there were a real 'Church Woman'  she would be such a person.

What else am I to be reminded of or to learn here? I have experienced literal storms about like this. The last time my thumb was broken in the very door I entered in the dream. But I think it is more likely reminding me of psychological and relationship storms that have continuously threatened through the past 25 years. Each time I have somehow managed to survive it and the storms and fears have been part of the dynamics to lead or push me to new situations that I suppose I needed to experience. This is how it always seems to me. That life's reality pushes each of us  to the next situation we need to have as we  continue to the final goal and completion of our lives. I am personally grateful for the reality of  the strong image of an inner woman who accompanies me now. 'She' can be viewed, I should remember, as a caring and present mother. That is not usually how I think of her. Animals in dreams often represent the basic instincts. Here the animal is a domesticated friendly dog. I now generally consider my basic instincts as good friends expressing important inner truth, whether it be my fear, anger, hunger or sexual attraction.

My family of origin has become somewhat more and more distant to me, especially the younger generations. Some of this I attribute to the ways my life changed from what is more expected in my family of origin. Much of it is what would have happened anyway as seven brothers go out and start their own families. But it is still important to me, the dream shows, that they not see or interpret me , from what they have heard or seen, in a negative way. The dream says the way to be genuinely respected by family and others  is not by attempting to put up a 'perfect  outer persona', but by being yourself and keeping a sense of care alive for all such people, even though they seem at times very distant.

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